Dos and Don'ts of Long-Distance Relationships

Lessons learned from 90 Day Fiance couples.

Photo By: TLC

Photo By: TLC

Photo By: TLC

Photo By: TLC

Photo By: Mansi Midha/Getty

Photo By: TLC

Photo By: TLC

Photo By: TLC

Photo By: TLC

Photo By: TLC

Photo By: TLC

Tips for a Long-Distance Relationship

Inspired by the couples of 90 Day Fiancé, we’ve compiled 10 dos and don’ts when it comes to being in a relationship with someone who’s far away.

DO: Find Creative Ways to Spend Time Together

Your relationship can be more than just talking—it can be playing games online or watching movies at the same time, so it feels like you’re watching them together. Jon and Rachel both enjoyed singing and, although she was in the United States and he was in England, they managed to connect through a karaoke app where they were paired to sing together. They also got dressed up for their wedding anniversary dinner via Skype.

DON’T: Go Too Long Without Seeing Each Other

This can be hard to do, depending on your circumstances, but as many of the 90 Day Fiancé couples have demonstrated, it’s important to plan time to see each other in person. Those visits can add a much-needed jump start to your relationship and planning ahead gives you both something to be excited about and look forward to.

DO: Surprise Them with Little Gifts

It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, but it’s a nice way to show your significant other that you’re thinking about them and you miss them. Whether it’s a package sent in the mail or bringing flowers when you meet them at the airport–which Larissa insisted upon after flying to Las Vegas to meet Colt–those small gestures can make a big impact.

DON’T: Keep Secrets From Each Other

Trust is key in any relationship, but it’s even more so in a long-distance relationship. Jenny was shocked to find that her boyfriend, Sumit, was actually married to someone else and, while the couple is still together, it was an extra hurdle they had to overcome.

DO: Use Video Chat

Technology has come so far and, if you can, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t find a way to video chat with the person you’re dating. Seeing each other makes it easier to pick up on nuances in conversation (like facial expressions and body language), and it also ensures that you’re not being catfished.

DON’T: Overcommunicate

You might want to spend as much time as possible talking, texting and video-chatting with your love, but you also don’t want to overdo it. As many of the 90 Day Fiancé couples have shown, it can be difficult to find balance while in a long-distance relationship but it’s important to be present in your day-to-day life.

DO: Schedule Time to Talk

One way to make sure you find time to communicate without overdoing it is by scheduling your talks ahead of time. When Tania was in Costa Rica, Syngin was frustrated that he was unable to reach her or get much time with her on the phone. By scheduling a time to talk and sticking to it, you can help mitigate some of that frustration.

DON’T: Stalk Their Social Media

If you find yourself turning into a detective when you’re on your significant other’s social media pages, this can translate into trust issues. Angela and Michael often argued about his social media activity, but it’s important to remember that social media posts are often a snapshot of a moment in time, without context. If you trust your partner, try not to let your imagination run wild.

DO: Plan for the Future

Long-distance relationships aren’t meant to be long-distance forever, and it helps to spend time together and discuss your future plans so that you’re on the same page about where you both ultimately want to end up. Loren visited Alexei several times in Israel before they decided to get married and start their lives in America.

DON’T: Be Vague About Your Expectations

Overall, clear communication is essential for long-distance relationships. Set boundaries early on for what you expect from the relationship, how often you want to talk, what you’re comfortable with and, most importantly, what you’re not comfortable with. Darcey and Tom had a hard time communicating and getting on the same page about their relationship, which ultimately led to their breakup.

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