Jessa Seewald Shares a Sweet Message
Read her emotional note to Joisah and Lauren Duggar.
Josiah and Lauren's Update 01:00
The Counting On couple opens up about their miscarriage.
Josiah and Lauren Duggar recently opened up about their heartbreaking experience with miscarriage.
The couple bravely chose to share their loss this season on Counting On in support of others who have gone through the same.
“To the ones who have gone through this, I know your pain. It’s real and terrible" wrote the couple. "I just want you to know you don’t have to suffer in pain alone. It is not your fault.”
Now Josiah’s big sister Jessa, newly pregnant herself, shared a raw and emotional message to the couple.
“Pregnancy—such a precious gift, and definitely not something I take for granted” said Jessa on Instagram.
“As we look forward to meeting our baby, we’re also feeling an exceptional amount of grief over my brother Josiah and sister-in-law Lauren’s loss of their baby. Lauren and I shared the exact same due date. We have cried so many tears, both together and apart. My heart aches for them. I weep when I think of how difficult it must be for her to see me pregnant in the very stages where she would’ve been—right up through the baby’s due date. And yet, even in a flood of emotions, there are perplexities of the human heart that may cause us to want to clam up or remain silent through such a trial. Because of this, many people feel like they’re walking this road alone.
It is true that speaking for the sake of filling silence is not needful and is often hurtful. I’ve watched Lauren converse with people who have been unknowingly insensitive, and I am amazed by her graciousness. I’ve heard some try to give reasons or explanations, not realizing that their unsolicited opinions might be very painful, like salt to a wound. One might never know the tears you cry at night as a result of their words flowing back through your head. Often times, “I love you and I’m praying for you” along with a hug are quite sufficient.
We do not need to fill every silence with words. But at the same time, conversations of lost dreams should never feel suppressed. Silence can stifle healing, but a carefully chosen word may work to help bring life and healing to the soul. We must all reinforce the fact that emotions over a life lost are not something to be resisted. They’re not wrong, and you should never think that for a moment.
If you’ve lost a child, know this—YOU ARE A MAMA, and you will never cease to think about and cherish the life you carried. So no matter how hard or difficult the journey, please don’t feel guilt over this. You’ll never stop wondering all of the details, from what the baby would look like, hair color, eye color, personality, etc. It’s only natural. Your tender heart just goes to show what a loving, caring person you are—that you care so deeply for one you were only graced only hold for such a short time.
My heart aches for you as topics of babies or pregnancy arise in conversation. It is likely you were already well acquainted with the first trimester symptoms of nausea, food aversions and fatigue, and you would’ve given anything to have had the opportunity to labor and deliver your baby, no matter how long or painful the process. When complaining or grumblings or are verbalized over colicky babies or sleep that’s been broken up for night feedings—Oh, what you wouldn’t give to be in their shoes!
We do continue to pray that God will bless you with a baby to hold in your arms, but this is not to insinuate that having another will remove the grief over one that’s been lost. That life can never be replaced and will forever hold a special place in your heart.
Lauren, you’re such a positive, life-giving soul, even in walking through a great hardship and suffering so much loss. I don’t know how you can grieve through such a trial, and at the same time be so thoughtful to say, “Jess, if you ever feel too sick or tired and need some help do not hesitate to text or call. I would be more than happy to make a meal, watch the boys, etc. I know when pregnant you get so tired and feel sick and don't feel up to doing things you normally are fine doing.”
That is God’s grace, and it radiates from your life.
We love you both so much, and pray that God would continue to comfort your hearts.”
What an incredible message of love and support! Our hearts go out to the whole family during this difficult time. Follow their continued journey this season on Counting On, Mondays at 9/8c.