Discuss Unexpected Episode Two
Unexpected can help you start healthy conversations about love, sex, and relationships
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Driving home from Lexus' false labor, Kelsey realizes the teenage parents-to-be are not prepared. Lilly and her mom are upset when James bails on birthing class. And, growing tension between her mother and her boyfriend's mother make things uncomfortable for McKayla.
When teens have open and informed conversations with parents, trusted mentors, and champions about love, relationships, sex, pregnancy, and birth control, they are better able to decide if, when, and under what circumstances to get pregnant. This empowers them to have better opportunities for their futures.
Teens say that parents and other trusted adults--more than peers, partners, or pop culture--matter most when it comes to decisions about sex. Unexpected can help you start the conversation now.
Ready For Parenthood?
- All the soon-to-be-grandmas talk about what they wanted for their daughters before they became parents, and what they fear their daughters will miss out on.
- Kelsey says that Lexus had lots of dreams before getting pregnant. How do you think being a parent will affect Lexus's ambitions?
- The vast majority of teens who get pregnant say they were not planning to get pregnant right now. Have you thought about how a pregnancy would affect your life right now?
- What do you want to have in place before you think about starting a family?
- Kelsey says that Lexus and Shayden are not mature enough to bring a baby into this world. What do you think it takes to be mature enough to have a baby?
- Lexus says that she wasn't on birth control and that she's "not blaming anybody" for the fact that she got pregnant. What are some of the top reasons teens have sex without using birth control?
- Lilly's mom feels that Lilly "skipped" a whole stage of life because they're talking about breastfeeding instead of prom. Do you think Lilly is as upset about it as her mom is? Do you think Lilly feels ready to be parent?
- James doesn't want to go to childbirth classes and walks out in the middle of it. Lilly says that James is missing important stuff and she's upset about it. Why do you think he walked out?
- Lilly's mom then says that she'd rather James not be around at all then to hurt Lilly like this. Do you agree with her?
Takeaway: Once there's a baby in the picture, everyone's focus has to be 100% on what the baby needs. All the girls' moms worry that their daughters--and their daughters' boyfriends--have to grow up too fast and are not mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with parenthood. Most teens don't think about the possibility of getting pregnant. Help teens think in concrete ways about what their future goals are. Talk together about if, when and under what circumstances they would want to get pregnant and start a family.
Boys to Men:
- We've seen McKayla and Lexus put together baby gear with their boyfriends. It seems to be really frustrating for them. Does it seem like it's bringing them together or tearing them apart?
- Kelsey was really vocal in this episode about not liking Shayden. Now that he's going to be the father of her grandchild, he's in her life forever. How do you think they'll work through that over the next 18 years?
- Most of the teen dads in this episode have some conflict with their girlfriends' families: James doesn't want to go to the Lamaze classes, Shayden and Kelsey fight over the car seat, and Caelen and Grandpa Tim are still warming up to each other.
- What do you think the soon-to-be-dads are really thinking about their new roles? Are they ready?
- What qualities make someone a trustworthy boyfriend/girlfriend?
- Caelen didn't know what to think when McKayla first got pregnant, but then he knew it was time to step up.
- How do you think not having his dad around affected him?
- Do you think he'll be able to really step up once the baby is born?
Takeaway: What kind of support do James, Caelen and Shayden need to be the strongest dads and partners? Statistically, most teen dads don't stay with the mothers of their children over the long term, and less than one quarter of teen mothers even receive child support. Often, teens will think that having a baby strengthens relationships. It's important to let teens know that having sex won't make him yours and having a baby won't make him stay.
- As teen moms themselves, we see all the grandmas-to-be feeling concerned for their daughters and the babies, because they know first-hand how hard it can be to put your own dreams aside to care for your children. Even though they sound critical sometimes, these moms are all motivated by wanting better for their kids. How do you think this point comes across from the moms to their daughters?
Shelly is critical of Shannon because Shannon wasn't there for McKayla when she was a child. Shannon wants to change for the better. How do you think they can resolve this conflict?
- Lilly talks about liking "tiny things" like puppies, which is why she's excited to have a little baby to dress up. Do you think she's underestimating what it takes to be a parent? What advice would you give her?
- McKayla says that living with her grandparents is the best environment for the baby. She's right to put the baby's needs first. What else do you think the babies will need right from the start?
- Lexus, Kelsey, and Robin talk openly about all being teen parents. They talk about making sure that Scarlett breaks the cycle.
- What do you think Lexus needs to do in order to make that happen?
- Lexus and Shayden weren't prepared for her to go into labor when they had the preeclampsia scare--what do you think about the way they handled this situation? What does this make you think about how they will handle difficult parenting situations?
Takeaway: Giving birth is just the beginning! Lexus is so excited to give birth that she hasn't thought about what comes after. Parenthood is an adult responsibility, full of joys and emotional ups and downs. Ask your teens what they like most about being a teen--and what it means to be an adult. What are their goals for the future? Finishing school? Travel? What are the steps they need to take to reach these goals? Remind them they have the power to say no to sex or to insist on using protection every single time.
Did you know?
Thirty percent of teen girls who drop out of school cite pregnancy or parenthood as a reason, and less than two percent of young teen mothers get a college degree by age 30.
The vast majority of teen pregnancies are described by teens themselves as unplanned. Young people who have sex without protection on a regular basis have an 85% chance of pregnancy within a year.
Get more facts and figures on teen pregnancy here.
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