Discuss Unexpected Episode Three
Unexpected can help you start healthy conversations about love, sex, and relationships.
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Lexus finally gives birth. After getting ditched yet again by James, a pregnant Lilly receives some tough love from her mother. Tensions between McKayla's mother and Caelan's mother finally erupt.
When teens have open and informed conversations with parents, trusted mentors, and champions about love, relationships, sex, pregnancy, and birth control, they are better able to decide if, when, and under what circumstances to get pregnant. This empowers them to have better opportunities for their futures.
Teens say that parents and other trusted adults--more than peers, partners, or pop culture--matter most when it comes to decisions about sex. Unexpected can help you start the conversation now.
What Does Responsibility Mean?
- When they're on the way to the hospital, Shayden and Lexus come face to face with the realities of becoming parents. Kelsey says that Shayden has gotten a job and she's proud of him for that, but there's still a long way he has to go. He needs to prove he's ready to step up to take care of both Lexus and baby Scarlett.
- As a 17 year old, what does Shayden need to do to really take care of his family? How do you think he can support a family without a driver's license and a car? What else do you think it takes to be able to support a child?
- Lilly is disappointed that she can't go on roller coasters or eat hot dogs while she's pregnant. Most teens would probably agree that these are hard things to miss out on. What would you say to Lilly if she came to you with these concerns?
- McKayla's pregnancy seems to be at the center of a lot of conflict in her family. Do you think that Shannon and Shelley are being fair to McKayla during this time?
- How does McKayla's pregnancy affect the way that others in the family relate to her? To each other?
- Shayden jokes that Kelsey is going to have a big hospital bill. Kelsey says that he has to pay for it because it's his child.
- How much do you think it would cost to raise a baby for the first year? The first five years?
- Lilly's mom says she has a million things going on at once. Once you have a baby, you're forced to grow up quickly--and together.
- How do you think Lilly and James' relationship will change once the baby arrives?
- What do you think it's like from the grandmothers' perspective to see their children realizing how much responsibility they're taking on?
Takeaway: Once there's a baby in the picture, that child's needs come first. As Kelsey says, the pregnancy and birth is the easy part. Early parenthood means growing up fast, skipping over a lot of the carefree experiences of being a teen, and worrying about providing for children financially and emotionally. What do you want to have in place before being ready for parenthood?
Parenthood Lasts A Lifetime:
- Lilly says she doesn't think that she and James would ever break up but if they did, he'd still make an effort to see his kid. From what you've seen so far, do you think that's true?
- What would help James live up to this promise? What might get in the way? Why do you think most teen parents do not end up together?
- Shayden said he fell in love as soon as he saw Scarlett. Lexus says she knows he's going to be an amazing dad.
- What do you think it takes to be a good dad? Do you think that Shayden will live up to his goals as a father? What might help him be the best dad he can be?
- Once Scarlett is born, Lexus says "words can't explain the love I have when I see her...it makes me want to be a better person."
- Now that Lexus feels the love she has for Scarlett, do you think it will help her understand why Kelsey is so protective of her daughter? And why she has reservations about Shayden?
- Shannon said that people say she doesn't deserve the right to be McKayla's mom and be in her life.
- Why do you think she feels that way? What do you think of Shannon and McKayla's relationship?
- Glenn says James has gotten on his bad side because he isn't following through on things. Kim hopes it doesn't continue with bigger things.
- Since James skipped out on the birthing classes and now the festival, how do you think he'll handle bigger responsibilities with the baby?
- What would you say to James right now if you could give him some advice? Does he remind you of anyone you know?
Takeaway: Babies need and deserve all the love, attention and care they can get, 24/7. All the young mothers on Unexpected have their own moms on hand to help them deal with drama, paying bills, and helping them understand what to expect as parents. Parenting never ends, it just evolves as your children grow up and roles shift. Once you have a child with someone, you are connected forever--even if the relationship between you two doesn't last. What qualities do you think would make someone a good parent? A good partner?
Communication Is Key:
- As teen moms themselves, we see all the grandmas-to-be feeling so much love and so much concern for their daughters and the babies, because they know first-hand how hard it can be to put your own dreams aside to care for your children. Even though they sound critical sometimes, these moms are all motivated by wanting better for their kids.
- How do you think this point comes across from the moms to their daughters?
- Lilly feels frustrated but doesn't want to argue with James, so she's going to avoid the problem. How do you think she should have handled the situation?
- In the conflict between Shannon and Shelley, McKayla seems like the adult. Shannon is the one getting angry and McKayla seems to be coaching her through the situation.
- How did McKayla learn how to navigate a complicated situation like this? Does this set her up well for parenthood?
- Cindy says that she thinks Shannon is jealous of McKayla. At the baby shower, Shannon says "you know me - I don't care." But it seems like she does care - do you think that she's jealous of McKayla because she's pregnant?
- Do you think she's also jealous that Shelley is playing a mom-like role in her daughter's life?
- Why do you think Shannon's perspective is important? What do you hope will happen between Shannon and McKayla?
- Shannon and Shelley can't seem to get on the same page about anything. Once the baby is born, they're going to be in each other's lives forever. How do you think this will affect McKayla and their shared grandchild?
- What advice would you give Shannon? Shelley? What's best for McKayla as a mom and a daughter?
Takeaway: Babies are a huge source of love and joy. Their arrival can also trigger a lot of strong emotions for everyone involved. The families in Unexpected already have complicated relationships and miscommunication--and that's before the babies arrive. What do you think each of the families could do to improve the way they communicate with each other? What do the teen parents need to do to be good, clear communicators with each other? Communication is key to creating healthy relationships, and a healthy environment for the babies and young couples.
Did you know?
- According to a 2010 USDA report, the average middle-income family will spend roughly $12,000 on child-related expenses in their baby's first year of life.
- 80% of adults overall say teen pregnancy is an important problem compared to other social and economic 80% problems in their communities.
Get more facts and figures on teen pregnancy here.
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