10 Things You Shouldn’t Do Right After You Get Engaged

After you become an official fiance, you might feel tempted to dive right into wedding planning. But before you do, read this.

By: Jen Glantz

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You're Engaged! Here's What Not to Do Next

Getting engaged can feel like a whirlwind of emotions and excitement. As you cheers glasses of bubbly with your loved ones and begin brainstorming about how your big day will come together, you might start to feel little pings of stress along the way. Even though everyone in your life will be pulsing with joy over your engagement, that often comes with questions and decisions.

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed after getting engaged, here are the top 10 things NOT to do immediately.

Avoid Social Media

After the question is popped, you might feel tempted to share the news with everyone in your life. Before you head to social media and post your special moment on there, give yourself a few days to enjoy the magic. Once you put the news out there for all to enjoy, you might feel obligated to put your time and attention toward responding to comments and questions on your social media feeds. Instead, spend the first few days of being engaged enjoying time with your fiance.

Don't Promise the Guest List

As more and more people find out about your engagement, they might start to ask if they will be invited or if they can bring a plus one. Before you start promising spots on your guest list, let everyone know that you’re still in the early phases of planning and will let them know more soon. It’s harder to take back a verbal invite to your wedding later on, so skip making any promises before you decide on your final headcount for the celebration.

Limit Your Online Browsing

One of the first temptations you’ll have after getting engaged is the urge to put together inspiration boards and screenshot ideas from the Internet. While there’s a lot of fun in spending quality time plotting what you want your wedding to look like, put this off for at least a week and set limits on your online browsing. If you spend too long looking at other people’s wedding pictures, you’ll start to have decision fatigue. Use any free time you have post-engagement discussing high-level wedding ideas with your fiance before you turn to long internet brainstorm sessions.

Hire Your Vendors Later

Even if you spend a little time researching vendors and venues after getting engaged, hold off on signing any contracts yet. It can feel like you’re running a fast-paced race after you get engaged, and you might feel the need to make all your vendor decisions fast. Take a step back and work on solidifying your budget before you do anything else. That way, when you pick your vendors, you can make sure you’re choosing ones that fall in line with how much you want to spend on your celebration.

Hold off on Picking Bridesmaids

Perhaps you’ve thought long and hard about who you want your bridesmaids to be, and now that the day has come, you’re eager to ask them to be a part of your bridal party. Before you do that, wait to see the size and scale of your wedding first. That might determine how many bridesmaids you want to have or if you even want to have bridesmaids at all. There’s no rush to ask your friends and family to stand by your side, so allow yourself to make this decision after a month or two of being engaged.

Don't Decide on Your Outfit Yet

Eager to go dress shopping? Rather than making a ton of appointments at local bridal shops right after you get engaged, work on the less glamorous parts of your wedding planning first. Once you know your budget, venue, and date, then you should head to the stores and go dress shopping. That way, you’ll make sure you’re picking a dress that fits your wedding goals and isn’t just based off of pure engagement excitement.

Wait to Set a Date

After getting engaged, the number one question people will ask you will be: "When will you get married?" Even if you have a date in mind, spend a little bit of time chatting about the time of year (or season) you want for your wedding — and when it works best for your schedule and budget. That might take you a few weeks to decide, so don’t feel like you have to rush setting a date.

Don't Immediately Hire a Wedding Planner

You might feel so overwhelmed with all the decisions you have to make after getting engaged that it feels obvious to go off and find a wedding planner to help you get started. But before you do that, consider your budget and your options first. You can get a lot of help (without spending so much money) using free online resources or even hiring a day-of coordinator instead. Check out all that’s out there before hiring a planner, which could cost you more money than you want to spend.

Don't Feel Pressured by Questions

If your phone, email, and social media feed are blowing up with questions from loved ones and friends, don’t feel like you have to answer right away. Have a few standard answers that you can give to put off any questions. You can say, "We’re still deciding and I'll let you know soon." That way, you don’t feel any pressure to respond to every question after just a few days, or weeks, of being engaged.

Don't Give In to Pressure

Enjoy being engaged and start planning whenever you feel like the time is right. For some, that will be after a few weeks — and for others, that might be after a few years. Either way, wave goodbye to the pressure, questions, and decisions for some time. Instead, celebrate your incredible engagement with love, joy, and lots of sweet treats instead of wedding planning spreadsheets!