A Psychologist Shares 5 Ways Our Brains Change Once We Tie the Knot

An expert weighs in on the changes that occur during the newlywed stage.

By: Jen Glantz

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5 Ways Your Brain Changes After the Wedding

When you’re in the thick of planning a wedding and counting down the days until you and your partner tie the knot, there are a lot of deep and important questions you might find yourself asking. Almost-newlyweds often search for answers on Google or ask others around them about what really changes once you get married.

If you ask enough married couples, you might find yourself thumbing through a variety of answers that could make you feel even more confused. That’s why we decided to examine it with the experts. Read on to hear what psychologists say changes in our brains after we say "I Do."

Love Hormones Help You Process Stress

After the wedding ends, all the built-up stress you felt planning an extraordinary celebration goes away. But there’s more going on than we think when it comes to how blissful we might feel after getting married.

Holly Schiff, a licensed clinical psychologist says that once you get married and you are experiencing deep love with your partner, it can help protect you against stress.

"The love hormones of oxytocin and vasopressin are released in the brain which helps us bond with our partners," says Schiff. "The comfort of having a reliable and trusted partner who you are now married to creates endorphins that act as healing influences in your brain and body. When you are in love, there is a rise in dopamine, which activates the pleasure centers in our brain and these continue even after years of marriage."

Pressure Helps You Resolve Issues Faster

Once we’ve vowed to stay together forever with our partner, we might feel differently about how we pursue arguments and disagreements with them.

Kimberly Perlin, a licensed clinical social worker providing psychotherapy, shares that we often change our expectations of each other and the relationship after marriage.

"Instead of our significant other not meeting our needs, it is our spouse. There is finality, a sense that I am with this person for the rest of my life — pressure can increase to resolve any outstanding issues," says Perlin.

There’s a New Kind of Connection

Something interesting to think about is that after you get married, you truly are blending your life with the other person.

Shagoon Maurya, a practicing counseling psychologist and psychotherapist, says once you get married, you’re no longer two separate individuals.

"Your lives become interconnected," says Maurya. "Decision making becomes complicated as you now have to consider the needs of your partner as well."

Compromise Becomes a Must-Have

One of the first lessons you might learn in marriage involves sharing and compromising.

Maurya says that regardless of your relationship with your partner before the wedding, marriage is all about getting to know your partner and understanding them completely.

"Habits, opinions, interests, needs, secrets, and future goals are shared between the couple and while some of them are wholeheartedly accepted, the others are compromised or negotiated," says Maurya. "Marriage works like a life school where we learn to compromise and accept what our partners have to offer."

A Stronger Sense of Security

Perhaps one of the best ways our brains can change after tying the knot is by feeling a stronger sense of security from our partner.

Amelia Alvin, a practicing psychiatrist, says that security is about ditching the idea of jealousy, doubts, confusion, and the fear of being left alone.

"Marriage replaces insecurity with comfort, trust, and a sense of ownership," says Alvin. "Our minds start accepting the fact that our partner is loyal to us. Above and beyond emotional security, marriage takes off the financial burden from one's shoulder as well. The couple shares everything except toothbrushes. That is not advisable."

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